Hey guys. Me again.
I've been going through an extremely rough patch the past few weeks. Its just been unusually hard, and I'm constantly having negative thoughts about being a failure and incompetent and such.
We've managed to get my Mom successfully moved back. I tried my best to help with the move... but whenever I started to help I got hung up on old memories and ended up breaking down on several occasions. I did well with the driving, but overall I've just felt like a "load" on my family lately.
To make things worse, I've badly mismanaged my bank account, and it wasn't until several days after I got back that I realized I was in the red. DEEP in the red. My Mom gave me some money to go towards my tablet, but it was only enough to pay back all the money I owed as well as the fines. I feel like such an idiot. I'm starting from nothing. All the progress I made... nothing... all for naught.
Hell, I've even been thinking that if I even get a tablet if I'd use it... I haven't drawn anything in so long now.
Everything feels so... hopeless. I'm having chest pains from the stress. I'm at my heaviest... its going to take a long time to lose the weight... I'm just miserable right now. I feel so horribly guilty that all I can produce are these journals instead of things you guys can enjoy. I just don't know.
I just don't know. I'm sorry.
Listening to: my grandfather's operas through the door
Watching: Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans
Playing: World of Warcraft