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Blayaden
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Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
An artist, trying to get back into his art.
Interests
Hey guys.  Me again.

I've been going through an extremely rough patch the past few weeks.  Its just been unusually hard, and I'm constantly having negative thoughts about being a failure and incompetent and such.

We've managed to get my Mom successfully moved back.  I tried my best to help with the move... but whenever I started to help I got hung up on old memories and ended up breaking down on several occasions.  I did well with the driving, but overall I've just felt like a "load" on my family lately.

To make things worse, I've badly mismanaged my bank account, and it wasn't until several days after I got back that I realized I was in the red.  DEEP in the red.  My Mom gave me some money to go towards my tablet, but it was only enough to pay back all the money I owed as well as the fines.  I feel like such an idiot.  I'm starting from nothing.  All the progress I made... nothing... all for naught.

Hell, I've even been thinking that if I even get a tablet if I'd use it... I haven't drawn anything in so long now.

Everything feels so... hopeless.  I'm having chest pains from the stress.  I'm at my heaviest... its going to take a long time to lose the weight... I'm just miserable right now.  I feel so horribly guilty that all I can produce are these journals instead of things you guys can enjoy.  I just don't know. 

I just don't know.  I'm sorry.
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: my grandfather's operas through the door
  • Watching: Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans
  • Playing: World of Warcraft
  • Drinking: water

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:iconmarianne2o:
Marianne2O Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2016
Yo!!! Thanks for the favorite, I really appreciate it! :D
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:iconblayaden:
Blayaden Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No problem!
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:icondaiguard78:
DaiGuard78 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2016
Hey MSV-R Johnny Ridden has updated again mangapark.me/manga/kidou-sensh…
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:iconblayaden:
Blayaden Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Swheet.  I love how they connected that machine you fought in "Rise from the Ashes" to the story. 
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:icondaiguard78:
DaiGuard78 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2016
I'm not sure of what machine you mean.
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:iconblayaden:
Blayaden Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
One of the biggest plot points of RFTA was the White Dingo Team stopping the Zeon project "Asteroth" which is related to the one in the Johnny Ridden manga.  The White Dingo emlem, Asteroth, and the Rhinoceros mobile suit(?) are shown in a file.

The Rhinoceros is the one I meant.  Here's a wiki link.  gundam.wikia.com/wiki/Rhinocer…
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(1 Reply)
:iconoryxace:
oryxace Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Happy New Years!
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:iconblayaden:
Blayaden Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy New years! :)
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:iconmastergray:
mastergray Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Ah hello hello! thanks so much for the fav!! means heaps! :iconarmstrongplz:
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:iconblayaden:
Blayaden Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No problem!  Your stuff is awesome!
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